Max Marshal
April 11, 2025
•
7 min read
My Teen Has Changed—But Is It Just a Phase or Something Deeper?
It’s a phrase almost every parent has uttered at some point:
"They’re just being a teenager. It’s normal, right?"
And yes—mood swings, rolled eyes, and one-word answers can be part of the teen experience. But what if the signs you're noticing aren’t just moodiness?
What if your child is actually struggling—with confidence, self-worth, or emotional overwhelm—and just doesn’t have the tools to talk about it?
As teen coaches and educators, we see this every day.
And the truth is, many teens don’t melt down—they shut down. Quietly. Slowly.
Until they don’t try anymore. Don’t believe in themselves. Don’t see the point.
So how do you tell the difference between typical teen turbulence and something deeper?
Here are 7 subtle signs that your teen might need more support than you realise:
1. They’ve stopped doing things they used to love
Not just one bad day—but a consistent pattern.
They used to love drawing, playing sport, gaming with friends, or going to rehearsals—and now? They opt out. Make excuses. Or say “I just can’t be bothered.”
👉 This could be a sign of low motivation or confidence—not disinterest.
2. They talk down to themselves (or just go silent)
Pay close attention to their self-talk:
- “I’m not good at anything.”
- “What’s the point?”
- “Everyone else is better than me.”
Or, they stop talking altogether—not out of anger, but avoidance.
👉 Teens struggling with self-belief will often either criticise themselves constantly or withdraw completely.
3. They give up on things quickly
Started something with excitement... but quit soon after?
Whether it’s a club, a project, or a hobby, some teens stop trying—not because they’re lazy, but because they’re afraid of not being good enough.
👉 This is often a perfectionism mask—better to quit early than risk failing.
4. They avoid challenges—even small ones
- Won’t raise their hand in class
- Refuse to try out for something new
- Avoids tasks they “might mess up”
👉 Fear of failure or embarrassment is a huge block for teens without confidence.
5. They compare themselves to everyone
They constantly measure themselves against friends, siblings, or influencers.
“I don’t look like them.”
“They’re smarter than me.”
“They have everything figured out.”
👉 Comparison is the thief of confidence—and a key sign your teen is struggling with their identity.
6. They don’t believe compliments
Ever said something kind, and they shrugged it off or said “not really”?
When a teen is stuck in a loop of self-doubt, even the most heartfelt encouragement can bounce right off.
👉 If your praise feels like it goes nowhere, it’s because their inner voice is louder than yours.
7. They seem flat—even when things go well
Even good news doesn’t spark much.
They’re not angry. Just... flat.
Like they’ve emotionally “checked out.”
👉 This can be a sign that they feel disconnected from themselves—and no longer trust that effort will lead to anything better.
So what can you do?
Here’s what we tell every parent:
You don’t need to fix everything.
You just need to notice what’s real—and start giving your teen tools, not just pep talks.
Confidence, motivation, and emotional resilience aren’t personality traits.
They’re skills—and they can be taught.
That’s why we created the LIFE Education course:
A 6-week online program designed to help teens reconnect with who they are, manage their emotions, and take real, brave action toward who they want to be.
It’s not therapy. It’s not school.
It’s the real-world life skills we all wish we learned as teens.
💡 Want to help your teen rebuild their confidence?
We’ve created a free, practical resource for parents just like you:
🎁 Free Download: 7 Ways to Build Your Teen’s Confidence (That Actually Work)
Inside, you’ll discover:
- How to spot hidden confidence blockers
- Simple mindset shifts that make a big difference
- Actionable tools your teen can use straight away
- Why confidence is a skill, not a personality trait
👉 [Download the free guide here]
It’s your first step to helping your teen feel capable, connected, and confident again—without pushing or over-parenting.
